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05 Jul 2009 11:34
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04 Jul 2009 08:14
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03 Jul 2009 23:06
has julianne ever been outside07.03.2009
FRIDAYS FUN FACT! - Julianne Moore was caught outside her Malibu home this week, and although her skin appears to be white, it’s actually transparent. It appears white because she reflects and scatters all natural light. The color white becomes visible to our eyes when an object reflects back all of the visible wavelengths of light, rather than absorbing some of the wavelengths and then taking on that color.
Wait. Wait no that’s polar bears. My bad. Yeah she’s just that white.
(hq jump = . image source = splash
jarah mariano is the winner07.03.2009
80 percent of all Asian girls are super hot, and Sports Illustrated supermodel Jarah Mariano is the worlds hottest Asian girl, so according to the formula, that means she’s the hottest girl of all time. Maybe even the greatest person to ever live. Essentially what this means is that if you’re a model whose name isn’t Jarah Mariano, you suck and I hate you. In fact all your photoshoots should be canceled due to lack of interest.
(these are from big-deal photographer Randall Slavin. His two sites with tons of beautiful work are here and here. If I sound unusually complimentary it’s because I’m not really supposed to have these, no one on earth does, and if I could not get sued again when someone eventually squeals, that would be delightful. HQ jump = here. bonus pic because cropping it was heartbreaking = here)
Ashley Greene—and Her Little Dog, Too
12 Photos -
03 Jul 2009 14:15
the memorial will be free07.03.2009
The good news for fans hoping to attend the Michael Jackson memorial on Tuesday is that they won’t have to buy $25 tickets. The bad news is that they can’t buy $25 tickets. Instead it’s now up to a lottery () to see how sad and empty their life is if they’re the big winner!
17,500 seats are available for the memorial at Staples Center and 11,000 more are available for the simulcast down the street at the Nokia Theatre. The Nokia will be exactly like watching it on TV, except for being much much worse in every way.
Still, it was nice of the Jackson family to make it free. Oh wait never mind. Radar says…
“The family was not going to announce they were charging for several more days. Backed into a corner by the bad publicity, family members had heated closed door discussions and many arguments on Thursday. They decided the only way they could save face with fans was to drop the plan to charge.”
If LA wants to clean itself up, they should wait for all 30,000 people to show up and then just lock the doors. It’s not gonna be the team behind the Large Hadron Collider. It’s gonna be Billy Bush and Mary Hart and Joe Jackson and 800 lawyers and an army of delusional retards who the only thing they had to take time off from was clogging up 911 with calls about “that bitch is crazy, you needa arrest her ass”. They should lock the doors and then it turns out they actually climbed aboard a rocket and then just shoot that thing right into the sun.
jessica has awful taste07.03.2009
After this seemingly harmless Liz Hurley post last week, some dirty god damn hippie sent me an article claiming
sexysexist jokes lead to violence against women (here). It was really insulting, and I wanted to punch her right in the face, but all I had was her email. So I decided to take out my frustrations on my girlfriend and went to yell at her. Then I remembered that I’m an unlikable dickhead and I don’t have a girlfriend, so I flipped off the little girl next door and called her a fag.More to the point, Jessica Simpson and her huge jugs wore the worlds most unflattering dress when they left DC yesterday after singing the National Anthem at the Tiger Woods charity golf tournament. I don’t think hot girls should dress slutty ALL the time, I just … wait no, never mind. I very much do think that. Sorry.
Jordin Sparks: New Promo Photos
5 Photosif god wore a shirt…07.03.2009
While her custody battle for Michael Jacksons kids raged on over in LA, Debbie Rowe stared down a different type of adversary when she arrived on her ranch in Palmdale yesterday. She was determined to shove some things up a horses ass, and she’d read about the power of the wolf shirt on Birkoph.com, but would it be enough? Maybe. Maybe not. Her solution? A three wolf shirt. With 3x the wolves of a normal wolf shirt, the horse would be intimidated/aroused into complete submission. Even if the horse was non-homo, Debbie knew, once it saw she had harnessed the power of the wolf, it would stand there and take it. Take it, and like it.
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03 Jul 2009 03:41
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02 Jul 2009 17:21
For almost two glorious, life-affirming minutes, Israeli model Bar Rafaeli rolls back and forth completely naked in this video for reasons that are written in Israeli. If I had to describe it with one word, it would be oh-my-fucking-god.
holy crap07.02.2009
If there’s anything better than the way Kim Kardashian looks in this bikini, I haven’t heard of it. And I’ve heard of many many things. Well over two dozen. Unfortunately who ever did her makeup smeared it on like a fat girl would frost a cake, and it was super distracting, so in a few of these her head is cropped out. That’s how I bring it.
(extra thanks to Startraks for use of their exclusive pics. hq jump
don’t screw with ryan o’neal07.02.2009
The guy in the picture is Griffin O’Neal, and the wake he and his wife and daughter drove 300 miles to attend is in the other direction. Griffin is going this way because his dad Ryan O’Neal banned him from attending Farrah Fawcetts funeral.
This may seem surprising until you remember that the two highlights of their relationship are when Griffin killed Francis Ford Coppolas son in a boating accident in 1986, and when Ryan shot Griffin and hit his pregnant wife in the face with a fireplace poker in 2007.
So basically they’re mortal enemies, and Griffin probably only showed up to be a smartass, but at least he was direct about it. This weekend my mortal enemy said, hey let me buy you a drink. And I thought that was nice of him. But then the drink comes and it’s this bright green liquid, hissing and bubbling with fog coming off the top. After a few sips, guess what, it was a trick! The whole thing was a trick!
go kill yourself michael bay07.02.2009
“Transformers” is a movie based on toys about giant shape shifting robots from outer space. They can turn into cars and planes and stuff. Some are good, some bad. The good robot leader is a descendant of other good robot leaders, which apparently means robots have sex and give birth to descendants.
Megan Fox suggested that this type of movie is driven by special effects:
“I mean, I can’t s— on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don’t want to blow smoke up people’s a–. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting.”
This is going to be hard to believe, but the director is offended by that. Us.com says…
“She says some very ridiculous things because she’s 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do. Bay says he “100 percent disagrees” with Fox. “Nick Cage wasn’t a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck … Shia LaBeouf wasn’t a big movie star before he did Transformers — and then he exploded. Not to mention Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, from Bad Boys,” he points out. “Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in Transformers,” he says.
Bay gives 6 examples of his star making wizardry and all 6 are wrong. 2 of his unknowns had already won Academy Awards, 3 were the lead in their own TV shows, and Megan Fox was in “Bad Boys 2″, so apparently Bay is so good he can discover people twice. But even if he did, uh, it’s Megan God Damn Fox. It would be like LeBrons high school coach bragging because he noticed him during tryouts. Oh, so you noticed the 6’9” 12-year-old who just scored 50 points in a 4-minute scrimmage? What, is that unusual or something? I’m not an expert like you and Michael Bay.
(the pictures below don’t exist by the way, because they were taken before 2007, when no one in the world knew about Megan Fox.)
michael jackson headlines07.02.2009
(note - the normal Michael Jackson headlines are here, the sexy ones, today featuring Nell McAndrew naked in Loaded magazine, are over
THE MEMORIAL - will be held tomorrow at Staples Center in LA. Family, friends and VIPS will have seats on the main floor, but the public can pay $25 to sit in the stands. T-shirts that were going to be sold on Michael’s upcoming “This Is It” tour will be sold outside. So, cool. I was afraid they might do something tacky. radar
THE DRUGS - Jackson was spending around 50 grand a month on prescription drugs, including 40 vicodin a day, and used a number of aliases to score all that, including Omar Arnold and Jack London. These are dumb, but better than his original ones, Demi Rawl and Luara Set. (source = the suntmz
THE SECRET GIRLFRIEND - a bodyguard told Sky News that Jackson had a long-time secret girlfriend, but he did not say who, instead leaving it up to her to decide if she wants to go public. When asked for a comment, Perez said, “that’s bullshit, she should be outed, everyone should be outed all the time, fuck them.”
THE WILL - Jackson gave his entire estate to his family, cut out ex-wife Debbie Rowe, and named his mom as guardian for his three kids. Diana Ross was named as a backup guardian if something were to happen to his mom. His mom is 79, but Ross is 65, so I’m not really sure he thought this all the way through. (source = national enquirer
THE BROTHER - Jermaine Jackson said on NBC this morning that he wishes he had died instead, and that Michael was “a gift from Allah.” And this isn’t really relevant but one time on a job interview I started every answer to every question with, “Well the honorable Elijah Muhammad teaches us…”. Needless to say I didn’t get that. (source = huffington post
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02 Jul 2009 07:53
ohai07.02.2009
Jessica Simpson sang the National Anthem yesterday at the opening ceremony of the Tiger Tourney, a charity golf event in Bethesda, Maryland, hosted by Tiger Woods. So here are some pictures and the amazing true facts behind a few of them.
PICTURE 1 - holy fucking shit.
PICTURE 9 - most girls find my 14 pound penis to be “too big”. Could Jessica be the woman I’ve been searching for?
PICTURE 15 - people say there’s never any black people on Tyler, but here you can kind of see Tiger Woods’ ear, and this appears to be his chin. Suck on that, critics!
PICTURE 16 - horizontal stripes, huh? That was a … uh, interesting … interesting choice. Um … you know what never mind.
PICTURE 23 - here, Jessica laid a few fingers on boyfriend Tony Romo. Out of habit he then threw the ball to the safety and fell down.
PICTURE 30 - he’s making that face because he just came in his pants.
(16 more pics here. hq jump here)
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01 Jul 2009 21:16
07.01.2009
KARL MALDEN - died today at the age of 97. He won the Academy Award in 1951 for “A Streetcar Named Desire”. How did he die? What am I, a scientist? (source = yahoo
R KELLY - might have had his home raided by Chicago police today searching for evidence of statutory rape. Reports say his current girlfriend is 17, the age of consent in Illinois. Police want to know how old she was when they started “dating”. This is bullshit. A guy marries a 15-year-old, makes a sex tape with a 14-year-old and forces another 15-year-old to get an abortion and all of a sudden he gets labeled as some kind of pervert. media take out
AUBREY O’DAY - is the likely replacement for Mel B when Mel ends her run in “Peep Show”, the topless show at the Planet Hollywood casino in Vegas. And my fist is a likely replacement for his teeth if this guy next to me at Starbucks doesn’t stop talking so loud. (source = fox news)
GEMMA ATKINSON - The UK model is in Australia this week, doing whatever the hell all this is. (hq jump = here)
this is more like it07.01.2009
The last time there were bikini pictures of Denise Richards, she once again kept her stupid denim shorts on, and so I summoned up my courage and said I’d had it with her non-ass showing shenanigans. Then I posted pictures of different girls who weren’t so stuck up. It’s part of my tough love program. And now, well what do we have here? Denise with her pants off and all wet, looking hot again. Mariah Carey was right, I am a hero, in fact we all are in our own special way.
(7 more pics here. 3 bonus pics because it would have been a shame to crop them here and here and here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)
Demi Lovato Plays Dress-Up for WWD
5 Photosknock it off katy perry07.01.2009
Look how hot Katy Perry can be when she’s mute and for 5 minutes stops dressing like a high school girl with a head injury. Like in these pictures from Esquire magazine. She’s pretty with a nice body and huge tits, but she insists on drowning all her hotness like it was a baby girl in China. It’s like her plan is to not be sexy, but instead to be as annoying as possible as often as she can. And so far, mission accomplished.
this should lighten the mood07.01.2009
When my grandfather (my moms dad) died, during the viewing my dad and I were in the front row and for no real reason I asked him if he signed the guest book. And he said, “No. Why is there a raffle?” And that’s not the greatest joke in the world or anything but because we weren’t supposed to laugh we of course burst out laughing.
I know I’m rambling and no one cares but that banner picture of Ryan O’Neal saying goodbye to Farrah Fawcett at her funeral today is so sad I don’t even wanna think about it. Kate Jackson and Cheryl Ladd paid there respects, but other than that her service wasn’t exactly star-studded (a little somethin for the ladies). It was however super Hollywood-y. By that I mean lots of offensively inappropriate short dresses and low cut tops. Look at this whore. This is Emily McEnroe, so I guess Farrah was her aunt, and that dress is ridiculous. I have belts that go down further than that.
(21 more pics here. hq jump here. source = splash news online and getty)
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