Fri, Feb 12 - And then and then Whoa! Whoops? Wa-heyy! Welcome, angryflower.com readers, welcome welcome. I haven't been piss drunk for the last set of updates since before the Christmas Holidays. Or have I... Let me check... Urf-golly! I can't be sure! I definitley posted plenty of nonsense over the last bit, but was it full-on drunken nonsense...???? Regardless, it's clear nobody knows. So, in the meantime, I'm going to post this current-events cartoon, one that's all about the conflict between the Bernie and Clinton sides of the Democratic side of our helpless hopeless political system. It's a cartoon guaranteed to be three days out of date, and then decades out of date. But I had to draw it anyway, and it had to be all about our various forms ofFri, Feb 18 - More Darwin All right, I guess it's official: I'm into Darwin at the moment. I'm reading Richard Dawkins' The Greatest Show on Earth, so it flows pretty naturally from there. I'm so enamoured with our natural-selection-discovering hero, I even broke down and did a cartoon about him.Paul's 400 Looks like my industious brother's been listing up a storm again, so if you direct your attention to the column on the left side of the screen and down a bit, you'll find a link called 400 Fave Movies. Heavily influenced by theyshootpictures.com (a movie list-lover's dream), it's a giant list of movies! Not just a list of movies, either, but lists, plus a list of directors. Man, if you like lists, this is the link for you! Fri, Feb 11 - Darwin There must be some reason I entitled this week's post "Darwin," but I honestly cannot imagine what it might be. I'm doing the due dilligence, checking over all my files, examining the evidence, but the only leads I'm getting are confused and contradictory. Am I reading Darwin right now? No. Am I suddenly thinking about the damn dolphin character in SeaQuest? Not until just now. Was it because one of my co-workers mentioned Darwin's Radio by Greg Bear a couple of days ago? Holy shit... that's IT! That's exactly why. Not that any of this has anything whatsoever to do with the content of this week's cartoon, but that just makes it like the rest of the universe, whose connection to this strip can generously be described as "scanty." Enjoy!Fri, Feb 4, 11 -- Egypt! I'll confess I'm as ignorant as most about Egypt and its history, stretching back two hundred and twenty hundred years. But I couldnt' help myself, so thus this cartoon: Running around the site just this moment to check if all the stuff worked... holy CRAP is it hard to navigate! Not even a bit of it makes sense any more! Fri, Jan 28 - Gearing Up I admit it's taking some time to get really rolling again after the Christmas holiday. Doing a bunch of comics on an accelerated schedule, then doing no comics for an extended period... well, it can mess up one's comic-making rhythm. Takes a bit of time to smooth out the process and get all cylinders firing and all metaphors functioning properly. I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes, despite your most earnest wishes, you can still end up with comics likeFri. Jan 21 - No More Than Any One Welcome back, Bob readers! I know it's only been a week but damn, time has been known to fly, hasn't it? I hope y'all have enjoyed the last little bit; I know I have. Typically I like to keep the Bob stuff separate from the I-work-at-PopCap-Games stuff, but I'll confess some PopCap Games shit goin' on has been rather refreshing, ongorging and diverting, distracting to the point that the only Bob energies I've left to deploy have resulted in feeble offerings of this sort: On the plus side, a year's worth of sidelined energies and crappy Bob product may result in some playable thing rather cool... perhaps even a game! So there's that and in the meantime I suspect a few decent Bob strips might emerge regardless just because that's what Bob strips do despite all my efforts to punch them down into emptiness.DRUNK? Good catch, readers! Your humble servant is indeed hammered, struggling to compose another weekly update in the midst of alcoholic spinneries. And, and, and that's not even mentioning the persistent and instistent wet coughing jags that have become a regular part of your author's daily life, hacking near-barfing expulsions that would lead any sensible person to consult medical help or at least cut down on his smoking! Luckily, distanced by the Internet as you are, y'all need not be exposed to such grotesqueries. But be assured, the moment one of these cough marathons results in blobs of blood, action will be taken!Weightless Cats And in case any of you folks hadn't yet been informed, there's a video out there on YouTube showing just what happens when cats are without weight. It's hilarious! Fri, Jan 14 - Straight Shooting Hey, folks, welcome back to the Bob the Angry Flower web page! We're far enough into the year that I really have no time-based metaphysical ramblings to deliver, so... uh... I guess here's a cartoon!Oh wait! I knew I forgot something! There was another cartoon in there between Bank JobThing.y. It's Two comics! One week! WHAT WILL SURVIVE??? Fri, Jan 7 - Hey hey I am the Monkees No, that's not quite right, I think I'm merely repeating someting I've... ahhhhhh, yes. Hey, hey, I am a monkey. Not a Monkee, but a simple monkey, or as C.Hitchens put it again and again in his book, God is Not Great, a mammal. I'm a mammal. Also a monkey. Indeed, the latter implies the former. Anyway, how y'alls doing this fine few days into the fresh second decade of the 21th Century? Good? Wanna complain on how the second decade of the 21st century started a year ago? Rilz? I know you don't. I know that regular readers of this preposterous site realize that, regardless of whether or not 2010 or 2011 marks the beginning of the 2nd decade of blah blah blah, we can all agree that we're in it now. BOO-YaH! So, I suppose it's my duty to provide another Bob strip, and this I now do: Sorry about the wee gif haze around the edge of the strip link; I'm simplyt too drunk to fire up Photoshop to corect it. Or no wait, I'm not quite that drunk; the haze shouldn't be there any more. Regardless! Welcome friends into this exciting new future, parts of which we all shall make! And please enjoy my stupes cartoon.Oh, and just so I remember it... Ten thousand is one percent of a million. One percent of a million is ten thousand. Thusly, $1,000,000 x 1% = $10,000 Yep, yep, the numbers check out. Whew! Fri, Dec 17 - Goodnight Ten Thanks for the ride, 0s. You were pretty crappy but you delivered some decent special effects, particularly in the first act. Looking forward to the next chapter; I'm expecting big things. Ah yes, I do have a comic for you people, which one was it again, I've been drawing so many to bulk up for the holiday hiatus I kinda forget what's going on. Oh! Here we go! This week's isBut...? No more updates until first week of January next year, so here's next week special extra-special tasty yummy Christmas cartoon, hereby entitled See y'all next year! WOOOOOOOOOYEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! FriDec 10m10 - 11 Days to Solstice Comin' up real quick now, the darkest day of the year for all northeren hemisherian readers. PARTEEEEEEE!!!!!! Or so I am told. I now present this week's cartoon, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality Some alert readers of last week's strip pointed me to the Harry Potter and the Methods of Reality fanfic blog which purports to premise that Harry Potter was a fierce rational prodigy raised by two scientist parents when he was invited to Hogwart's at the age of 11. Events flow compassionately and without pity from there. Scary. Seriously, it's messing me up. Fri, Dec 3 - Now What? In the absence of Gunt... evil prevails. Or no, that's light. The absence of light. At any rate, now that Gunt is in our past for now, it's time to move on, but no fear. Even as we say goodbye to Gunt and his amusing antics, we still have cartoons featuring dudes with beards. Readers, I give youIntellect and Romance Craig Ferguson, a Brit talk show host, had Matt Smith of Doctor Who fame on his show not long ago, and lately there's been buzzing around on YouTube a clip of the cold open they didn't end up using. It summarizes my feelings perfectlyFri, Nov 26 - COLD! Holy fracas, folks, the chill of last week claws fingers all over, dumping city-crippling snows on Seattle and apparently rendering Alberta the second-coldest place on Earth not long ago. Ha! That sure is funny, we all got a good laugh, so how about knocking it off and returning some heat. A little. Please? Just a bit? DAMMIT. Anyway, Gunt fans and enemies alike, hold onto your genitals for the senses-shattering conclusion of the Gunt Cycle, a little cartoon entitledFri, Nov 19 - The Chill Woo! Yikes! It's cold outside! And I'm just talking about Seattle, not the empire of frigidity that is my hometown of Edmonton, Alberta, locked in ice, shivering in temperatures measured below zero regardless of whether you weild a thermometer Fahrenheit or Celsius. Gotta head up north, though, since the Gateway is chiming in a hundred years of operation, a hundred years of spitting out humans in all directions to make our common world funnier, stupider, smarter and more attentive to long-forgotten Gateway values. DAMN IT'S GONNA BE SO COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But before the long cold begins, gotta throw down with what some would call penultimate Gunt, this flakey tale entitledFri, Nov 12 - Pies of Meat Sorry if I seem a little distracted this update, folks, but my mind whirls, whils, whirls with possible solutions to the over-watered problems that have plagued my meat pies up to this moment. I don't want to promise anything, after all I've only heard advice while drunk in a bar, but I feel like I can suggest the possibility of my next meat pie being the best ever yet. Rue's the word.Gunt? Why yes, sire, don't mind if I do!Fri, Nov5 - November Storm Yet another Gunt strip, this one entitled Fri, Oct 29 - Holy Halloween! What a crazy Halloween weekend comin' up, huh? Friday, Saturday, Sunday -- all rich with Halloween-party potential! I haven't seen a Halloween weekend like this for a long time. And what better way to kick it off with a cartoon about the importance of grooming, good conduct and the rich value of friends, a cartoon like Have a fun time this weekend, folks! Stay home and drink! Fri, Oct 22 - Whoops First off, I'd like to aplogize to everybody for being so dumb that I did last week's update without checking it, thereby sporting a broken link to Celts for the whole weekend I was at APE. Stupid webmaster, stupid! I'll check this time for sure, I promise. How was APE? Pretty good. I'd feared a sluggish, depressing event but the new digs (or more accurately, the other side of the same digs) proved suitable. The weather was just right for conning (nice enough to go out, but not so nice that you didn't want to spend an afternoon indoors) and, best of all, they had a bar a banana's throw from my table. Being able to begin the gin & soda regimen two hours before the show's over gives one a definite strategic edge in the drinking game. I didn't do as much wandering around as I probably should've, but there was some. of course was there, as he always is, along with fresh off his triumphant story in Marvel's Strange Tales. He put me on a panel with of War is Boring, Spike of Templar, Arizona and Barry Duetch of Hereville, so that was kinda fun. Hung out with of Jobnik, Amy Martin of AmyMartinComics and Breanne Boland of, well, Breanne Boland's comics. Managed to grab 's Smile as well as her latest Babysitter's Club adaptation (sniff!), and got her-learning-curve-is-unstoppable Der-Shing Helmer's latest issue of The Meek. Why are all the good comics these days being made by women? And as for random finds, give Randall Christopher's Kleeman And Mike a try if you're interested in some deceptively simple art and deceptively smart writing. Oh, and I had some beef brisket from Tommy's Joynt, which right there is a reason for living. So damn good. Whew! That's a lotta APE! Is there even a new cartoon this week in the face of all this APEing? Always, dear readers, always.
There's been a lot of talk about Donald Trump during this bizarre, hallucinogenic GOP primary race, and I understand it. Trump is a molten gorgon, a sweaty buffoon of awfulness, but it's hard to deny his gross, sticky magnetism. To my mind, though, he's not the worst of the bunch. For me, at least, that dishonor goes to Ted Cruz, who looks like he's waiting for a sniper to start taking shots at him so he can grab a baby and hold it up in front of himself as a human shield. I'm not sure why I have this visceral dislike of the guy. I mean, yeah, his policies are loathsome, but that hardly makes him unique among Republicans. There's something about him; in a fundamental way, he simply doesn't seem
Fri, Jan 29 - Shivers There's been a lot of talk about Donald Trump during this bizarre, hallucinogenic GOP primary race, and I understand that. Trump is a molton gorgon, a sweaty buffoon of awfulness, but it's hard to deny his gross, sticky magnetism. But he's not the worst of the bunch. For me, at least, that dishonor goes to Ted Cruz, who looks like he's just waiting for a sniper to start taking shots at him so he can grab a baby and hold it up in front of himself as a human shield. I'm not sure why I have this visceral dislike of the guy. I mean, yeah, his policies are loathsome, but that hardly makes him unique among Republicans. There's something about him; in a fundamental way, he's just doesn't seem
Fri, Jan 22 - Full On
After having pooped out a pile of anti-new-StarWars bibble last week, I'm gonna take a breather, by which I mean a nap, by which I mean an affirmation against doing any more work other than to share this week's cartoon-strip about a book and a TV show that evidently nobody gives a shit or load about, a book and TV show called Childhood'S End even as my lame commentary title for the strip is thus named
Fri, Jan 15 - What Matters Lordy, this sure has been a rough week for anybody who doesn't enjoy beloved public figures dying on us. I drew this cartoon last week before the death-glut, so it really has nothing to do with any of it. It's simplyBack from the Stars War I begged off last week in sharing my thoughts on the new film, saying that I hadn't really assembled a full and proper thesis to expound. I still haven't, but I'll do a bit of rambling on the subject, anyway. A friend of mine had a great metaphor for this movie, so great I'm gonna steal it. He described it as a beautifully wrapped present, but when you unwrap it, it's an empty box. That's how I felt about Star Wars: The Force Awakens. On the surface it seems appealing, but it's completely hollow. Visually, logically, thematically... there's just nothing there. Before I start rambling about all the things I found to be disappointing, I'll get out front about what I liked. Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega... they were good. I'm not terribly thrilled with how their characters were conceived and developed, but all these young actors were game and delivered what they were given. Kylo Ren stopping the blaster bolt was cool. Seeing the Millennium Flacon scrape clumsily along the ground was kinda fun. I liked the bit, early in the film, where Rey slides down the sand dune towards her speeder; it's the one part of the film that seemed to have an identity of its own. And... that's pretty much it for stuff I liked. My first complaint, and one that's been made by many people many times in the weeks since the film's release, is that it's just so grindingly, relentlessly unoriginal and unimaginative. It's pure nostalgia product, and more specifically, it's nostaliga product drawn from the original trilogy and designed to repudiate the prequels. You want Original Trilogy Han and Leia and the Millennium Falcon and a Death Star and X-Wings shooting at TIE Fighters? Then that is what you shall receive. Say what you like about the prequels, but George Lucas made sure that each one had vistas and planets and monsters and robots and aliens you had never seen before. Were they all successful? Hell, no. But Lucas let his imagination out to play with its new CGI toys. This film simply didn't. Visually, it polished up the safe and familiar and fed it back to us. But it's not just unoriginal and unimaginative, it's also insubstantial. It feels exactly like every other J. J. Abrams joint, an endless string of contrivances and coincidences and goddamned flashbacks created to get in and out of scenes and nothing more. Take Finn. The notion of a stormtrooper who balks at participating in a mass murder? Cool! How is that going to be developed, how is the story going to explore what that would be like, the kinds of struggles this guy must be having? Oh, it won't be? It's not going to? Finn's going to just pop out of his armor and start cracking wise and running around whooping and hollering like a Star Wars fanboy off the street? Huh. And how about Han? The story drops him in and he's exactly like we remembered him, making jokes and scoundrelling around and delivering callbacks to the original trilogy like the last 30 years never happened -- and these are 30 years in which he and Leia had a son who turned into Darth frickin' Vader! That's a huge story, one far more compelling and dramatic that anything we get here, and it's introduced and backfilled with a few lines of dialogue. It seems to me like there are two stories here. There's Rey and her search for Luke Skywalker, and there's Han & Leia and their catastrophe of a son. Neither of these stories seem to have much to do with each other, and both of them feel like they're assembled on the fly. Rey has no reason to give a shit about the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker until she has her lightsaber flashback halfway through the film. I know, I know; there are all kinds of revelations about her past and her parentage that will come in the next film and the film after that. But that doesn't change the fact that, in film, she picks up her motivation and character objective like she's grabbing a bag of chips at the gas station on her trip to Calgary. And as for the Han/Leia/Kylo story... okay, sure, I'll grant that certain things were outside of Abrams' control. He couldn't go back in time 15 years and tell the compelling story between Force Awakens and Return of the Jedi when it would have made sense to do it. And he pretty much had to have some kind of passing of the torch between the heroes of the older stories and the new heroes of these new films. So maybe this was the only way that story could go, and he did the best he could. But man, Han and Leia just felt to me like caricatures of their characters from the original trilogy, not actual people who had aged and been immeasurably changed by all that had happened to them in the interim. Maybe it's me, but I simply didn't feel it. It was pretty much exactly how, in Abrams' Star Trek: Into Darkness, the film expects us to buy into a scary Khan and an emotional death scene between Kirk and Spock, not because the film has done anything to earn it, but because it can just rely on our memories of older, better stories. Feh. I could go on and on, and if any of you are interested, here's a podcast I did with MF Galaxy podcaster Minister Faust in which we did exactly that. Suffice it to say, I got what I expected from this movie: a new appreciation for George Lucas and the his Star Wars films. this
Fri, Jan 8 - Newy New Yep, it's 2016 on this here Earth of ours, and that means it's time to wrap up, for once and for good, this silly, silly story that's been going on here at angryflower.com. May I present to y'allStar Wars? Yeah, I saw the new movie. I haven't yet fully built out a whole thesis on it, so I don't have one to present. I mostly just have a lot of small observations that I'm busy shaping into a coherent picture. But I will mention that I basically fell asleep the first time I watched it. I was more alert during subsequent viewings, but yeah... I think it's safe to say I wasn't super banger thrilled. The Hateful Eight was waaaaaaaaaaay more entertaining, for me at least. And that's all I'll say for now. Happy New Year, folks!
Fri, Dec 18 - But Suddenly... Hi, folks! This is the last angryflower.com update this year! If I was smart I'd have a whole PHP web system designed to deliver content over several weeks according to how it's supposed to play out. However, as I'm sure you all suspect or frankly know, I'm not smart. So instead we're gonna lay stuff out like this: Here's this week's continuation of the astonishing tale we've been experiencing over the last 3 weeks. I guarantee it's a major twist! And then, given that exciting turnaraound, all you angryflower.com readers should expect another week before the next exciting instalment! But because you're such loyal angryflower.com readers, you get this next instalment right now! Even though it's specifically timed to be read a day before Christmas 2015, you can read it right this second here (though in truth, you should wait a week to read it): And it contnues! You loyal angryflower.com readers get one last sneaky preview before 2016, and it's this: And what of after that? Wellll... we're all gonna have to wait, I'm thinking. Have yourselves a lovely holiday and a burgeoning New Year!
Fri, Dec 4 - Oho! Well, well, well... what's all this, then? Is this some kind of cartoon about well-known 1940s industrialist Herman Polenta, of whoem we saw mention in last week's strip? But what on earth more could there to be to say about this august figure? What additional mysteries could be in store? Let's find out... together!