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06 Nov 2009 14:23
11.06.2009this post was almost awesome
Katy Perry hosted last nights MTV Europe Music awards, and during rehearsals she came pretty damn close to finally showing off her awesome tits, which she obviously desperately wants to do and why not because her body is fantastic.
Then during the show she wore this flesh colored top, which looks awesome in the thumbnails because you think she might be naked. She’s not of course and she might as well have taken my erection and slammed it in a car door because anything flesh colored scares me. Specifically tight clothes, because it looks like the skin they stretch over evil robots in movies about the future. My parents still have one of those old flesh colored phones with the chord and all that. It looks like they’re talking into a prosthetic foot.
11.06.2009is that jessica albas ass?
Jessica Alba has said before she would never do a nude scene in a movie, but this sure as hell looks like her gettingbrutally beatensexily spanked in this leaked clip from the upcoming movie ‘The Killer Inside Me’. You can only see her face and ass at the same time for an instant, but that was more than enough time for aspiring perverts to freeze and screencap it (tada!).I have no idea what the hell this could possibly be about, but I’d be willing to give a movie about naked Jessica Alba giving into desire and learning erotic lessons a chance. I’m open minded like that.
11.06.2009todays top story
Megan Fox has broken up with Brian Austin Green a dozen times, but they keep getting back together. She clearly wants out, probably to date me, but look at him. Look at him as they walk around Silver Lake yesterday, with Megan in a slightly see-thru shirt. He’s oblivious. He has no idea he’s on borrowed time. He has no idea what’s about to hit him. It’s this rock I found. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Beyonce performed at the music awards show for MTV Europe last night, and luckily we can witness it through these pictures and not in real life because it’s really uncomfortable when someone who isn’t sexy tries to act sexy. She has a very pretty face but big ass + no tits = not sexy. All this does is highlight that. Beyonce is making this really awkward. It’s like watching your mom flirt. I would call her Ms. Knowles if we were in the same room, and lean back and offer my hand if she tried to kiss as a greeting.
11.06.2009kelly brook is here to help
This is relevant to nothing but because Rihanna has the self-defense skills of a fucking toddler who just came out of the dryer, my sexxxy website got all serious and depressing.
Luckily Kelly Brook, being wise and all-knowing, preemptively posed for pictures in her bra and panties. Catholics should drop the shit about sunrises and your babies smile and just show pictures of her tits as proof of God.
(go to the tyler facebook for 2 uhq)
Stuff about Rihannas GMA interview, which is uncut tonight on 20/20, should have been up yesterday but this is depressing. And part 2 this morning got even worse. Here she talks about what actually happened in the car when he started hitting her. And if that wasn’t bad enough, spell check recommends “rhinos” when you misspell “Rihanna”. That shit is racist!
Yesterday she admitted she did go back to Brown “eight or nine times” even after he beat her, but finally ended it because she was so embarrassed at the prospect of staying with someone who had done to her.
There’s simply no way this could be any worse for Brown. If she had been cursing him out and saying she wants to kill him, he could say “I told you that bitch was crazy”. But here she looks heartbroken. Not because she got beat up but because she really loved him and now she can’t be with him. Brown is fucked. This makes him look even worse. His only hope was she would go on there and act like the black woman in Jerry Bruckheimer movies, the kind at a fast food counter in a sky blue church outfit and a big hat with feathers, yelling at the kid behind the counter about respect because they ran out of biscuits.
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