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05 Nov 2009 21:21
11.05.2009thursday afternoon headlines
DAVID LETTERMAN - is now a woman. Or at least will be during the ‘Law and Order’ episode about a talk show host who gets blackmailed after having affairs with members of her staff. I know what you’re thinking. “Wow this post got surprisingly boring considering it started out by saying ‘David Letterman is now a woman.’” Yeah sorry about that. e! online
JON GOSSELIN - is so screwed. The law firm representing TLC in their breach of contract lawsuit against him have deposed his gf, his bodyguards, and even his former lawyers to find out if he was earning money from outside appearances. This moron is so done. TLC might as well coat him in honey and throw him in a bear cage too.
JAMES GANDOLFINI - punched a photographer trying to videotape him shopping in the West Village. And it would have hurt too, except that Gandolfini is a fat tub of shit and actors are all pussies. huffington
CHRIS BROWN - will run his comeback “Fan Appreciation” tour through a series of small and intimate venues, starting with the House of Blues in Houston next week. So far ticket sales have been steady. Because there’s nothing more steady than “zero”. (daily news
DENISE MILANI - is here dressed as Wonder Woman because these headlines were all kind of boring. Her costume is a little different from the original, but she still has the golden lasso and the bulletproof bracelets. Know what else is bulletproof? My dick right now. (denisemilani.com)
11.05.2009ohai britney - update!
Britney Spears is in Perth today to rehearse for the Aussie leg of her ‘Circus’ tour, and it’s good to see she’s not taking any chances. In Australia, the bras are made of poison!
BOUNCY UPDATE - 2 x-ray’d pics at the end of the gallery thx to Raven.
(image source = inf dailypacific coast news)
Most celebrity interviews suck and no one ever says anything good because most celebrities are functional retards who only got where they are based on being pretty and you would smell hair burning if they ever had a thought.
But put Sharon Osbourne in a studio with Opie and Anthony and Jim Norton, and in less than 2 minutes you’ll get Sharon saying Susan Boyle looks like a “slapped ass”, Norton comparing her hair to a Gene Wilder wig, and Sharon saying God gave Boyle talent but then “hit her with a fuckin ugly stick”.
The youtube for all this is under the cut because Jodie Sweetin and her huge jugs were also on O and A that morning. I was gonna post the video up top and skip this picture altogether, but then at the last minute I remembered I wasn’t gay.
11.05.2009okay this is better
These are just simple pictures of Kim Kardashian before her charity boxing match (this disaster) but she’s pretty and Mariah Carey is disgusting so Kim won. Kim is a good example of how a girl doesn’t have to be 95 pounds as long as she has big tits to balance everything out. Of course I don’t think it would kill her to prance around naked every now and then. Uppity bitch. If I wanted to see girls wearing clothes I could just go walk around the mall.
(source = )
11.05.2009i dont feel so good
Mariah Carey filmed a video yesterday on the beach in Malibu, and she did it in this very revealing swimsuit for some inexplicable reason. I have no idea what song it’s for. It should be called ‘Hungry For Love’. I know there are lots of guys who like girls built like this (big ass, no tits) but none of those guys are white, and I’m white as Christmas morning so I find this repulsive. She’s just a shapeless mushy blob. It’d be like fucking a beanbag. People get all PC on me when I say we should burn all the fat people but what about now? How do you feel about it now?
NOTE - I’ve been told you can see her nipple in this one, but I’m just gonna take that person at their word.
(source = pacific coast news)
11.05.2009paddingtons sex tape is here
(UPDATE - the links had to be taken down, so now this whole thing is kind of pointless. I would just skip it if I were you.)
I’m waiting for the books-on-tape version, but for everyone who wanted the movie version, the Shauna Sands sex tape went on sale yesterday. Or if you knew where to look it was available for free yesterday + 30 seconds. I can’t host that kind of thing on a delightful site like Tyler, but lots of people have links where you can download full scenes.
Here is one of those links now, for example (NOTE - please understand this is not a preview or a clip, but a very NSFW full scene from a sex tape. No one under 18 can download this, because it’s illegal, and also because it would make the baby Jesus cry). In this scene, the penis of Shauns boyfriend appears to have suffered a burn of some kind. So Shauna drips ice cream on it to cool it down. Her first aid completed, she then licks it off, because that’s perfectly good ice cream, and she’s not made of money you know.
Here is a link to download only the thrilling conclusion of that very same clip, and I don’t want to ruin the surprise ending, but it turns out that Shauna is a very good girl, and an excellent role model for all the girls who go out with me.
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